Dreaming
by spockandawe
Summary: After he escaped from Republic City, the Lieutenant dreamed of Amon


Everything hurt when the Lieutenant came to, but there were more important things than pain. He could almost believe that he'd imagined the whole thing, but there was no forgetting the feel of bloodbending. Feeling his limbs twist further than he could stand, wanting to scream but not even having that power over your own body- No. It had been real.

When he stumbled into the hallway he hardly knew what he planned to do. Was he looking for Amon? Escaping? His arm was broken. A few ribs too. He'd have to tend to that later. There were vague, half-formed hopes of finding the Equalists and taking the city without their leader, but he soon realized that wouldn't be possible. At the first sound of footsteps he instinctively ducked into a deserted side room. It wasn't his people. It was United Forces soldiers, laughing and talking as they wandered the hallways. If they were this carefree, what had happened to his Equalists? Surely they couldn't have fallen so easily.

They had. It wasn't long before he gave up on any idea of victory. All that was left was escape. It took an agonizingly long time to sneak down to the ground floor and out a window into a back street. His arm ached, but he couldn't rest yet. He stayed in the darkest, narrowest alleys until he found a house that looked to be deserted. He kicked the door in and stayed only long enough to steal a loaf of bread and a heavy, hooded coat. If anyone was looking for him in particular it would do no good, but all he needed to do was slip out past the city's borders.

He did his best to walk confidently down the main streets, making a point of smiling at anyone that met his eyes. Just a little further. A little further. The cabin in the woods was one of many that the Equalists had built, but this one was special. Only two people had known that this was here. This was the last escape for their Amon if everything had gone wrong. They trusted their soldiers, but there were ways of making prisoners talk it was just safer if nobody knew this place existed. It was their secret.

It was evening by now and the Lieutenant was too tired to be careful. He went to his knees beside the door, scrabbling in the dirt for the buried key. It could have just been the exhaustion, but was the key missing? Had somebody dug it up already? He was just beginning to believe that perhaps, perhaps- Maybe Amon was inside. They could talk. Together. There had been trust between them before, and they could mend it together. Even though he was a bloodbender- Maybe-

It was almost funny when his fingers finally brushed metal. Almost. Of course Amon wasn't here. That would have been too much. Silly. As soon as he fumbled the lock open and stumbled inside, he went straight for the medicine. His arm was making it hard to think straight and his ribs weren't much better. The drugs helped a little. He was able to focus enough to tie up his arm, but that was about it. He took a bite of two of the bread, but he had no appetite. He gingerly lay down on one of the narrow cots and fell into an uneasy sleep.

He dreamed of Amon.

He wanted to demand answers, explanations, _anything_, but he was too furious to say a word. Amon was the first to speak. "My Lieutenant."

Even behind the mask he could hear that cursed smile. "Amon."

The silence was heavy. When the other man moved closer, the Lieutenant couldn't help an involuntary step back. Amon stopped. "I suppose you want to know why."

"Nothing you say here even matters. I know I'm just dreaming."

"True, true. But I don't think you'll get another chance to hear."

"Another chance?" he snapped. "I'm not going to rest until I do. I'm going to hunt you down and you're going to explain yourself. I'm going to find you. You know I can do it."

"Ah." Amon's voice sounded strained. "I'm afraid you won't be able to do that. Even you won't be able to find me after this."

"What are you talking about?"

"You know what I mean."

"If you're dead I swear I'm going to-"

Amon laughed. "Kill me?"

The Lieutenant paused and took a deep breath. "No. I'll remember you. It doesn't matter how long I wait, I'll never be able to forget you. I don't care if you're dead, because I'm not going to stop looking. Months, years, however long it takes. I'm going to find you, or I'll find what happened to you. But I'll never forgive you either. Do you even understand what you've done? Who you've betrayed? We all loved you. _I_ loved you. You might laugh, but can you see what you've done? You can't believe I'll just put it behind me." He glared at the other man. "You took me and you _changed_ me. What I am today is something you created. I gave you everything I had. I won't forget you, but I'll never forgive you either. And as much as I wish I could, I won't be able to stop loving you."

Amon stepped closer again, but he didn't move. He shut his eyes as the other man raised a hand to his face, but instead of that familiar touch all he felt was a breath of cold wind against his cheek.

"I'm so sorry."

When he woke in the morning his pillow was damp.


End file.
